[ He laughs, at that, only a little incredulous, easing into something less skittish, more open.
It's as clear a statement as he could wish for, without having told her he's agonized over such things, that she might see him for who he is, not what his former master had taught him to be. He doesn't take that for granted, as loathe as he is to let his defenses down. The difficulty is in how he's learned to perceive his own self-worth, how he's essentially unlearned the ability to navigate affection and desire.
Resigned (forgoing the as long as it's both of our first times innuendo that comes to mind): ] Well, what kind of devil would I be to refuse you, then?
[ He squares the bottom of the wine bottle against his stomach, uncorking it soon thereafter with minimal trouble. He's stalling, really, as he produces a goblet from the basket as well, but he thinks she'll forgive him a moment to catch his breath. They're still in early stages, after all; neither is expected to fully bare their soul just yet, and he doubts it'd be easy for them, even if they wanted to. ]
Just so long as you don't tell the others, [ he adds, as he offers her the cup, the red liquid inside glimmering nearly as well as the water beyond it. ] I can't have them rushing to confide in me all at once.
[ But even that is half-hearted, a last jest offered while he turns back onto his side to properly look at her, nearly mirroring her posture. Miserable you, a fool I, he thinks, a smile coming unbidden to his lips. ]
I'd have gone with you, if you'd asked, [ he says, with a nod vaguely in the direction of their camp. ] But I'm happier that you're here, with me.
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It's as clear a statement as he could wish for, without having told her he's agonized over such things, that she might see him for who he is, not what his former master had taught him to be. He doesn't take that for granted, as loathe as he is to let his defenses down. The difficulty is in how he's learned to perceive his own self-worth, how he's essentially unlearned the ability to navigate affection and desire.
Resigned (forgoing the as long as it's both of our first times innuendo that comes to mind): ] Well, what kind of devil would I be to refuse you, then?
[ He squares the bottom of the wine bottle against his stomach, uncorking it soon thereafter with minimal trouble. He's stalling, really, as he produces a goblet from the basket as well, but he thinks she'll forgive him a moment to catch his breath. They're still in early stages, after all; neither is expected to fully bare their soul just yet, and he doubts it'd be easy for them, even if they wanted to. ]
Just so long as you don't tell the others, [ he adds, as he offers her the cup, the red liquid inside glimmering nearly as well as the water beyond it. ] I can't have them rushing to confide in me all at once.
[ But even that is half-hearted, a last jest offered while he turns back onto his side to properly look at her, nearly mirroring her posture. Miserable you, a fool I, he thinks, a smile coming unbidden to his lips. ]
I'd have gone with you, if you'd asked, [ he says, with a nod vaguely in the direction of their camp. ] But I'm happier that you're here, with me.