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[thirsted]

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ASTARION

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[corporeity]

I can understand that.

[ even though gale would not, could not stand by. he can hardly keep himself from speaking up in times of peace. ]

I’m not proud of myself, presently.
I wish to protect you and only you, always and forever.
And yet I ask myself if that is short-sighted, when you would be far safer with the Wolves all caged.

If I protect you one week and die the next, whatever is the point of me?

[ foolish and mortal in the game, as he is in his life. ]

[thirsted]

[ And, in an instant, he sees the whole of the impossible conundrum. It doesn't matter who takes what role, in their little loop — one would always seek the protect the other. ]

Don't worry about me.

[ Sent against all of his better instincts, when he knows doing what he ought will inevitably get him caught— will inevitably put him in danger, text nonchalant when he feels what little color he has draining from his face. ]

I've no target on my back. The game has to end. It did, last year.
No point in wasting a spell on someone who doesn't need one, hm?
I love you. A wolf can't change that.

But don't
don't tell anyone else.
Better they only find out when they must.

[corporeity]

I cannot help it.

[ The worry, which stems from love, overflowing. ]

They asked me, before this began, and I did not hesitate.
I love you.
I love you I love you I love you.
And only you.
Protecting you could never be considered a waste. Not to me.

[ Whether or not it would be strategic (or right) is another thing entirely.

He gathers himself. ]

I’ll not reveal myself.

[thirsted]

And I've no one else to tell.

[ Not even Shadowheart, nor Caroline, nor Louis. ]

Tell me where you are. Let me come to you.
There's no point in spending the rest of the day apart.

[corporeity]

There isn’t, is there.
You’ll find me in the gardens beyond the ruins of main lodge. I needed to take the air.

[ Unsurprisingly. ]

And a seat, amongst the flowers. It seems like to rain soon.

[ According to the ache in his knees. Or maybe that’s just all the scrambling. ]

[thirsted]

[ The commune being what it is, it takes Astarion a little while to find an umbrella, but that's the only detour he takes on his way to the gardens, glancing once at the greying sky but otherwise single-minded in following the path.

He's always known their time together to be limited.

Strange, to be confronted with it so suddenly, now. ]