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[thirsted]

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ASTARION

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[thirsted]

Just the other day, while the tourney was still ongoing.

Nothing would please me more than to see her heart removed from her chest, but you should know that death is not a permanent state, here. Kill her, and she'll return within the month.

[ He refrains from answering the last question — he's arguably already given away too much of Gale's business, especially if he's as much of a stranger to this man as Astarion is. ]

[bhaalist]

[ it must have been after he saw gale. the thought of it, when he just lived through getting lae'zel back from that psychotic-- ]

Oh I've heard. With ease even Withers would envy, what fun.

That doesn't mean she has the right.

I know you are not my Astarion, and he is not my Gale, but I will not stand idly by and let her come for you.

I would not let anyone.

[ he has the same feelings, the same attachment. what would he not do for astarion, particularly? the whole world should belong to them. no version of him could simply be left aside. ]

[thirsted]

[ Once again, Tilanus' words, good intentions be damned, strike Astarion like a wave of nausea. His first instinct is rejection, to ask what the other man doesn't understand about the fact that they are strangers, that whatever feelings he has for some other Astarion aren't feelings he wants applied to himself. Even to entertain the man's fancies for the sake of punishing Orin— it's a degree of frustration he's not certain he's willing to weather.

Once, he might have strung him along for the sake of protection, but there's no one here who can really protect any of them, at the end of the day. The house is more powerful than any of them. ]

Indeed, I am not "your Astarion."

[ (The possession grates at him, for its suggestion of something greater.) ]

I am not anything to you but a stranger. If you are extending such courtesy and protection to the rest of the house, I'll take it without any further question, but if it is based on a relationship between us that does not exist, I'd prefer that you forget I said anything at all.

[bhaalist]

No, indeed you are not anyone's.

You are not the friend I remember, but I would like to be yours. Some of what I know may be the same, some may be different. I would like to know where that is so, and let myself be known, to remove this imbalance. I don't like it anymore than you do.

[ he hates the disparity. they had grown in friendship before because their situation was the same, they grew to trust each other.

is doing so here impossible? ]

I'm sorry. I will give you your space, and leave it in your hands. You have this contact, and my room is [ directions ] if you should wish to speak again.

[thirsted]

[ For a long moment, Astarion reads and re-reads the message that's come through, worrying his lip as he wonders if he's been unduly blunt — and swiftly dismisses the thought.

He forgoes a response for the moment, but it isn't as though he'll forget this anytime soon. ]